One Way Mirror
by Karasu Yurei
Summary: Post-series fic in which Schwarz has issues and Schuldich is forced to turn to Weiss for help.
1. Chapter One

_Author's Notes: I know this part is kind of confusing, but everything will be explained later. Really. _

Warnings: Yaoi (duh) YohjixSchuldich, maybe Omi+Nagi if it amuses me. Violence, language. Post-series, so lots of spoilers. 

Disclaimer: Do you really want to sue me? Is it actually worth it? 

One Way Mirror

"Severing flesh is much different than cutting bamboo.  
I needed to build the mental resolve to kill a moving creature,   
lest my mind succumb to the natural repulsion of it   
and cause my body to hesitate in battle."  
-Kabuki  
"Circle of Blood"

Chapter One 

    I want a cigarette. Which is most annoying. I'm not a smoker, but this guy . . . this guy, he wants one really bad. Which means I want one. Hands twitching to light one. Muscle memories that are not my own. He's trying to quit. How cute. Not anymore he isn't. 

    The subway car pulls to a lurching stop at the station and the man bolts out of the car, diving for the drink and cigarette vendor. He can't get them fast enough. I can't help but smile. Serves him right. For making me want one. For getting into my head. 

    I hate the subway. 

    I need to get home. Back to the others. Nagi and Brad. And that crazy God hating twit. 

    Though I'm not sure I can make judgements on sanity. Why are there so many smokers? Jesus, Farf annoys me sometimes. 

    Home sweet . . . well, sweet like blood. That's the little demon God hater. He's in the living room, playing with a knife. Surprise, surprise. And I can feel the static of Brad in the kitchen. 

    On the phone, of course. I step into the kitchen and lean one shoulder against the door jamb. I watch, blind to his thoughts as always, and unable to track the mind on the other end. I get confused in the sea of voices. If I reach too far I lose myself. I did that once as a child. I've never been able to keep everyone out ever since. When I managed to make my mind crawl back into my body, I had lost a lot of that vital separation. Sometimes I'm surprised I survived my own childhood. 

    Brad hangs up the phone gently. So controlled. I wonder where Nagi is. "Where's the kid genius?" I should be able to feel him somewhere, even if he wasn't here. It's a mind I know. One I'm comfortable with. Waterlike and quick. 

    "Sedated." 

    "Oh." Then light dawns. Processing. Assimilating. "What!?!?!" 

    "He and Farfarello had a little argument again. I had him take a couple sleeping pills when the windows started to crack." Yeah, drugged sleep does pull people off my radar. Brad says all of this with such a perfect calm. And people call me mean. 

    "Who was on the phone?" 

    "Our employer." Ah yes, what's left of Esset. Grand. I was sort of hoping they all drowned. But my luck is . . . no. I did have very good luck then. Almost bought the farm. 

    "Oh?" I move past him and open the fridge. 

    "Quick job tonight. It'll give Farfarello a chance to burn off some aggression." He watches me pour a glass of Coke and put the bottle back. I carry it down the hall and ease into Nagi's room. Brad had just dumped him on his bed, shoes and all. Fearless Leader can be so uncaring at times. I set the glass down on his night stand. Brad dosed me with this stuff once. Leaves a terrible taste in your moth. The kid won't mind the soda having been left out. He, for some weird reason, likes it flat and warm. Whatever. I'm not one to insist on normalcy. 

    I sit at the foot of his bed and start unlacing his shoes. I'm not really sure why I feel the need to take care of him. Maybe he reminds me of myself. It doesn't really matter. I can feel Brad move into the door as I drop Nagi's second shoe onto the floor quietly. I can't read him but I can always tell where he is. 

    He's just watching me. Whatever floats his boat. I pull the kid's socks off and start easing off that damned school uniform shirt. I'll leave him to sleep in his undershirt. 

    "You know, I don't understand you." 

    "Does that annoy you?" I ask as I pull the covers up over Nagi. I sort of hope it does. When I realize he isn't going to answer, I ask the next question. "What don't you understand?" I head towards the door and Brad. 

    "How you can be so nice to Nagi, and then go out and kill in cold blood. Even enjoy killing." 

    "You know, for the Fearless Leader, you don't know me very well." Which is odd for you. To not understand. 

    "Just don't get too attached to people." And he leaves. Enjoy killing. Well, I suppose. In a perverse, self punishing sort of way. Every time I kill I lose a little bit more of myself, and have it replaced with a little bit of a stranger. It's either smile or scream. I guess I've learned to enjoy pain. I need a nap and a cigarette. I hate smokers. 

^^^^ 

    We turned Farf loose on the milling guards. The rest is easy. Simply stride in; Nagi would keep anyone from leaving, Brad and I would take care of the rest. I'm our best trigger man. Brad is mostly to keep us out of trouble; Nagi never really was one for violence. Aside from those few run-ins with Weiss. 

    Violence is not Nagi's place. Nor is it Brad's. Brad keeps things moving. I'm the killer here. And Farf will do the jobs I can't or won't. 

    So now I pull the trigger. Nagi's eyes close. He hates watching. Four total. One down, three to go. I can feel the burn as I shoot. The second goes down, and I burn. It hurts and I smile, seeing his memories. Birthdays, sex, business deals, vacations, favorite food. Third target. The gun jerking. And an echoing shot. That isn't right. It's hard to see past the burn. Another shot. Not my own. 

    Nagi's mental wail. I jerk around, nailing the last guy as reflex. I don't need the distraction. When the memory haze clears I see Brad aiming a gun at Nagi. Two rounds are buried in the wall by the kid's head. "Brad? What the fuck are you doing!?" 

    "Orders." 

    Nagi is wide eyed, too shocked to defend himself. He could have stopped the bullets. Brad continues as he sights the gun. "He turned traitor when he saved Weiss. I have orders to eliminate him." 

    I can feel something in Nagi's head shake loose. Some vital connection going down. Brad pulls the trigger and I dive for the kid at the same time. Apparently I actually am fast enough to dodge bullets. It's all over in a second. The third round buries itself in the wall and I look up, Nagi pinned under my body. Suddenly I remember Brad's words from earlier. _Don't get too attached._ I send a thought his way. Not something I usually do. I don't just send it. I ram it down his throat. I make sure it holds all of my hurt, and Nagi's too. That sense of horrid betrayal. 

    I haul the kid to his feet and bolt for the door. 

^^^^ 

    Okay then. What to do, what to do? Number one. Get Nagi to stop hyperventilating. I tow him into an ally and slip into his mind. A gentle touch. A slight control. I almost pull back, cut. Where there used to be water now there is something sharp and broken. "Nagi?" 

    He looks at me, responses slow, eyes blinking. "Why did he do that?" His voice is wavering just like his mind. I guess we know where Nagi's snapping point is. 

    "I don't have the faintest idea." I pull him into a hug, feeling him cling to me. Well, he's breathing now. Number two. Take him somewhere safe. Number three, kick Brad's head off and give it to the goody two shoe Weiss member to play soccer with. 

    Some place safe. Goody, goody people. Weiss. Take Nagi to Yohji. 

    What is my issue. Is insanity catchy? Christ, Yohji. Don't think, just do. 

    I try to tow him along, but he stumbles and eventually I just give up and scoop him up and carry him.

    My head hurts. 

^^^^ 

    It's way too early. Who in their right mind buys flowers at nine a.m.? Cigarette. Must have a cigarette. Man, am I fumbling something fierce this morning. Dropped the lighter, nearly spilled the cigarettes . . . 

    I really hate the morning shift. I wonder if Omi would notice if I forgot to open the metal shutters and claimed a slow morning. Right, and pigs may fly. 

    I see a rear end of someone sitting on our door step. If I never forget a pair of ankles, I certainly never forget an ass. Especially one that nice. Up the shutters go. Sometimes I forget about how exotic and sexy Schuldig is. 

    Though my earlier statement stands true. No one sane buys flowers this early. 

    I yank open the door. "Schu, what the fuck are you doing here?" Insane he may be, but this is a bit much. 

    _Don't make comments on my sanity._ He tips his head up to look at me but doesn't rise. _And don't get cute. You aren't some blushing lady I have to stand up for to be polite._

    It's about now that I realize he has Nagi asleep in his lap. And the usual dickheaded expression isn't on his face. Aliens sucked up the real Schuldig and left this clone. He's still looking up at me expectantly. _Mind helping me out here? Though I will admit he doesn't weigh enough, he's still heavy._ He always feels like velvet directly on my brain. I love velvet. I scoop the kid out of his arms and wait for Schuldig to stand. He takes a minute, as if stiff. 

    _Of course I'm stiff. I've been sitting on your freaken door step with him in my lap for the last three hours. _

    "Why are you here? Are you trying to get us both killed?" 

    "Yes. That's exactly it. Yohji, where is your brain?" He's moving to the back room. We keep a sofa there. Of course he would know that. 

    "My brain is still in bed. Why are you here? What wrong with him?" I can't help but rub at my face. 

    "That's adorable." 

    "Huh?" I somehow feel traitorous, feeling this unafraid of Schuldig. 

    "When you rub your face when you're tired. And I should hope you don't fear me. I don't like my sex that kinky." 

    "Schu, don't be a fuck." Close the metal shutters and figure out what is going on. I have to wake up here. 

    The store is locked up. "What's going on?" Nagi is laid out on the sofa, dead to the world. Schuldig is sitting on the floor, leaning on the sofa, facing me. Suit coat, shoulder holster and gun all piled up on the floor beside him. His work clothes. 

    "Bradley is out of his fucking gourd and I didn't know where else to go." 

    "Elaborate." I wilt to the floor, facing him. Cigarette, I must have a cigarette. Oh nicotine. My sweet friend. 

    "You sound like you love your cigarettes more than me." He smirks. 

    "Stop screwing around and answer me." 

    "Nagi needs a place to stay. Someone that can protect him. Fearless Leader has orders to kill him." 

    "Why?" 

    "Because he saved all of you." 

    Close eyes. Breathe. Remember not to kill him. Remember he's great in bed and not to kill him. "Would you please just give a straight answer?" 

    "Look, Esset declared him a traitor and now Brad wants him dead. Or something. I stopped Brad, but I need somewhere safe for Nagi to stay." 

    "So you brought him here?" Okay, I'll admit I don't believe it. The kid can stop speeding trains by looking at them. Why does he need protection? 

    "Because . . ." And again Schu answers my thought, not my words. I'd complain, but it isn't worth it. "He's . . . a bit off right now." 

    "Excuse me?" 

    "Off. Unhinged. Loony. Not home." He pauses. "Hurt." And the smirk leaves Schuldig's face. 

    I just blink. Too early. I can't extrapolate my right hand from my left right now, let alone things left unsaid. 

    "Nagi's always been sort of fragile. When Brad turned on him, something broke. He's not dangerous. He's hurt. I need someone to take care of him." 

    "Oh." I don't think I ever quite realized how much Schu cared for the little runt. 

    "Don't." 

    "What?" 

    "Don't think of him like that. If you're mean, what's left will fall apart." 

    "Oh." 

    "Christ. Give me a cigarette." 

    "You don't smoke." 

    "I do now." _Come on . . ._ I hate it when he does that. It's like mental puppy dog eyes. I hand him a cig and light it for him. He immediately starts coughing. One of the best assassins in the business and he's coughing over a cigarette. It seems wrong somehow. Sit next to him. Pat his back. Right. The things I do . . . 

    No longer hacking out a lung. 

    "I wasn't . . ." 

    "Oh, shut up and relax. Did you get any sleep?" 

    "Not really." 

    "Then relax for a few." It can't hurt. Omi won't be down until noon. Nagi seems to be out for the count. 

^^^^ 

    Ugh. Why am I awake. I shouldn't be awake. Yohji and I never get up early. He's still . . . oh. Oh shit. Hard floor. Who's here. Who's here? Yohji. Nagi, sort of. Someone else . . . the Takatori kid. 

    And that is definitely a knife at my throat. Step one, open eyes. Okay. Yep, it's him, and he's mad. I can feel it rolling off of him. Step two. There is always a step two. Yohji. "Don't kill me, kid." 

    "What did you do to Yohji?" 

    "Huh?" Christ, get your head working. What kind of a reply is that? 

    "He would never have let you in here!" 

    But he did. In fact, I think I'm laying on him. Yep, the lump went back to sleep. "I didn't do anything to him." 

    "Yohji! Yohji!" That's right, kid. Wake him up. That's good. Must remember not to move. The knife is sharp. 

    "Huh? Wha . . .?" He jerks awake. Bumping me. Yes, the knife is sharp. That is definitely my blood. 

    "Yohji-kun!" 

    "What? I'm up." He blinks awake. _Don't move or you'll slit my throat._ "What do you mean I'll . . . oh." He finally takes stock. _How the hell did you stay alive this long? _

    "Yohji?" 

    "Ah . . . hi. Put the knife down?" Yeah, I'm all for that. Don't want to buy the farm here. 

    "What did he do to you, Yohji-kun?" 

    _This had better be good, Kudo, or I will haunt your sorry ass for eternity. _

    "Nothing." That's good. Move the kid's arm. "I'm fine. Really." 

    _Talk faster._ The kid's eyes keep darting to Nagi, who has curled up. I wonder if it's safe to sit up. 

    "What are they doing here?!" Oh, the kitten has claws. And fangs. 

    "Omi, calm down." 

    "No. Answer my question!" Yohji has a good hold on the kid's arm now. _Think I can sit up? This cut hurts and I'm bleeding on you._

    "Go ahead." 

    Christ. I'm really bleeding here. Glad I didn't like the shirt much. Just use the sleeve to try and stop the bleeding. "Little kitty has claws." I grin at him. 

    The kid snarls and tries to break free of Yohji, but Yohji yanks hard and pulls the kid to the floor. "Schuldig, if you try and piss him off, not only will I let him kill you, I'll encourage it. Stop being a jerk." 

    "Fine." I move back. Out of Omi's immediate range. _It's hard to remember that you joined Weiss, but he was its founding member._

    "Well, try." 

    "I promise I'm not trying to pull anything, kid. If I was, would I have fallen asleep on top of this useless lump?" I point at Yohji, smirking. 

    "I suppose not." He relaxes some. I can feel it. He is dangerous though. Nagi is dangerous, but this kid is a killer. No mincing around for him. He'd kill me in a heart beat. 

    "Please tell me this wasn't one of the knives with poison on them?" This suddenly occurs to me as I wipe at the blood. It's not really stopping. 

    "Can't you just pull it out of my head?" He's still pissed. 

    "I could, but I'm trying not to piss you off." That and I feel a headache coming on. Nagi is like sandpaper scraping at my brain right now. 

    "It wasn't poisoned." 

    "Oh good." Then Nagi decides to start waking up. Just great. All thee of us look at him. I reach out the unbloody hand and touch his forehead. Smoothing his hair back. If I touch him I can get into his head without letting my shields down. I don't want to let them down. Omi is really mad at me. I gently ease my way into the shattered glass of his mind and send him back to sleep. I don't need him waking up and seeing me bleeding. 

    Time to ease free. 

    Oh, that hurt. Caught on one of his new sharp edges. I must have winced. Yohji reaches out to touch me. Steady me. It feels good. I could definitely use some steadying and good shot of whisky. "Can we all agree not to kill each other?" Nagi is giving me a headache. It's so hard to block out those I'm attached to. Even this lump of kitten known as Yohji Kudou. 

    "I'm going to get Ken," Omi states. Man he is pissed. I can feel it through my shields. 

    "Do you have to?" Great, Yohji is whining. _Just let him. I'm leaving Nagi here. He'll have to have some sort of explanation. And don't piss the kid off more than he already is._ "Oh, fine." 

    Omi huffs off, leaving me with Yohji. I sag onto the sofa at Nagi's feet. Careful, no skin contact. My head hurts. My neck hurt. My sleeve is sticky with blood. I am way over stressed here. That never works well. Yohji is watching the doorway Omi left through. Pay attention to me. I'm the one who just had his life turned upside down. 

    Oh Christ. I'm whining. My head hurts. Get his attention. Touch him. Take what he can give. Comfort. 

    He moves back to me. "Come on, let's get you cleaned up." I feel like such a child, following as he tows me to the bathroom and pushes me onto the closed toilet lid. My head hurts. I hate it. Once it starts, I can't stop it. It just gets worse. "Get that shirt off. It's a mess." 

    "Huh?" 

    "Schu, pull yourself together. Take that shirt off. It's ruined anyway." What's he doing? Reach out. Touch someone. Right, a first aid kit. My throat. Take the shirt off. I can't stop the shiver. 

    Why am I so jittery? God, Nagi still feels like glass, even asleep. I wish I could block him out. Yohji. Cigarettes, linen, and cutting wire. That's Yohji. 

    He dabs at my neck with alcohol. I jerk away. Christ, I should be able to sit still here. My head hurts. He slips a hand behind my neck so I can't pull away. "Well, I think it'll stop bleeding altogether once I get a bandage over it." He crouches down in front of me. Tips my head up. Bandages, right. 

    Soccer boy and Omi are in the doorway glaring. My head hurts. "Here, put this on." 

    "Huh?" 

    "It's one of my T-shirts. Put it on. You need to wear something." 

    Ah. Right. Shirt on. Now . . . make your brain work . . . blink at them. Right. 

    "Schu, what is your problem?" 

    I blink at him, too. I'm slipping. My head hurts. I wish it would stop. "My head hurts." 

    "Were you hit on the head?" Yohji. Right. Feeling to see if I was hit. 

    "No . . . I . . ." I can't think. What happened? 

    "Up here. Tell me up here. It's easier." He taps my head. 

    "Huh?" _My head hurts._

    "Why?" 

    _Nagi . . . I can hear him, like sandpaper and broken glass. It hurts._

    "Why don't you block him out?" He's still crouched in front of me. It's hard to focus. I want to touch him. He feels nice. 

    _You're worried? Why?_ I can't let go of his hand. Putting him between me and everyone else. 

    "Because you are falling apart and Nagi is out cold on our sofa." 

    _Right. Nagi. Can you take care of him? He won't hurt any of you. He doesn't like violence. _

    "I'll watch out for him." 

    _Right. Right. Brad. I have to go see Bradley. I'm mad at him. _

    "Schu . . ." 

    _What?! I'm mad at you._

    "Schu . . .?" 

    _No. Wait, Omi is. Omi's mad at you? At me? I can't tell. I have to go. Someone out front wants flowers. And . . . I have to go._ Right, stand up. Walk. Omi tries to stop me. Why am I here? Don't touch me. "Don't touch me." He's angry and it burns through my skin, down to my bone. I look down, make sure I still have skin. 

    Get past Ken. Why am I here?! He was mad at me too. Push past him. Have to touch him. Someone out side is driving too fast. They are going to be late. He's not mad anymore. Why? _Why aren't you mad at me too? _

     Wait for an answer, but he's moving away. And the noise is moving in to take his place. People. They replace him. Too many. My head hurts . . . 

^^^^ 

    He's lost it. Completely lost it. And I just stand here like an idiot as he tries to leave. I can only move after he folds to the floor at Ken's feet. Thank God Ken caught him before he cracked his head on the floor. 

    "He asked why I wasn't mad at him anymore." Ken sounds bewildered. I feel bewildered and Omi is glaring. This day is hell. I should have stayed in bed. 

    "Well, let me get him to bed and we can talk about this." I scoop Schu up. He's heavy, but not as heavy as he should be for his height. "Don't kill me yet, Omi." I don't wait to see what they will say. Just march Schu up the stairs to my room. "You had better appreciate this, you slacker." 

    Boy, am I glad I got myself a double bed; I can drop Nagi up here too. I feel like shelter. Stray Schwarz here. Adopt. Be kind. Take one home. 

    So let's see. Shoes and socks off. Then the perpetual sunglasses and head band. We all have our trademarks. Hmmm . . . someone coming. It's Ken. 

    "Hey. Omi still want me dead?" 

    "No, just to maim you." 

    "That's better." Belt and pants next. Ken steps over to the bed. Thank God Schu is wearing nice normal black boxers today. Okay, now straighten him out so he doesn't wake up stiff with twisted muscles. Nothing worse than sleeping on something funny. Except sleeping alone. I think that's worse. What the hell is Ken staring at? 

    "You two are sleeping together, aren't you." Well, that's it. I'm dead. 

    "Actually, no. If you'll notice, he's in bed, and I'm standing here, quite awake." I force a smile. I'm very good at those. 

    "You know what I mean. You two are lovers." 

    "I'm not sure I'd go that far." As the British say . . . in for a penny . . . "That would imply strong affection. We go more for the casual screw." He looks offended. I'm not sure what gets him more, finding me "in bed" with the enemy, or the idea of casual sex. "How did you guess?" 

    "Yohji, do I really look that stupid?" I look up from where I'm tucking the sheet and blanket up over Schu. 

    "When did I ever give you the idea I thought you were stupid?" 

    "It's obvious you two are lovers. You were taking care of him. Saved him from Omi. Carried him to YOUR bed. I'm not unobservant, you know." He's right. 

    "I think maybe I'm unobservant." Okay, I admit it. If I had thought about it a little, maybe I was behaving too familiar with Schu. Well, no one has ever accused me of being the brainy one. That's Omi's job. "I'm going to get Nagi." 

    "What?!" 

    "I promised Schu I would take care of the kid." 

    "When?!" He's trailing me like an indignant puppy. 

    "Earlier. Right before he completely snapped." 

    "He didn't even ask you to!" 

    "Ken, he's a telepath. Just 'cause you didn't hear it, doesn't mean he didn't ask." 

    "Just go get the kid and give Omi an explanation before he murders you horribly." 

    "You said he didn't want me dead anymore." 

    "There is still time for him to change his mind." He has a very good point there. Going to get Nagi now. Right now. 

    Must get past Omi. Man, that kid has a mean glare. "Omi, I promise you can grill me all you want once I get the kid in bed." 

    "Yohji, are you crazy?!" 

    "Most likely." I skirt past him and scoop Nagi up off the sofa and head back up the stairs with him. Back to my room, where Ken is still staring at Schu like he's going to get up and shoot someone any second now. A bit paranoid, but not wholly unreasonable. "Eh, Ken-kun, could you get the spare blanket out of my closet?" This kid is too light. Don't they feed him? I think the trick here is to set him down on top of the covers. My going theory is that he and Schu shouldn't touch. Mainly 'cause Schu told Ken not to touch him. I'm figuring there must have been a reason. I don't pretend to get it, but now is not the time to question. Now is the time to put Nagi to bed and then hope Omi doesn't kill me. 

    I just settle Nagi onto the bed and take the blanket from Ken. After I shake it out, I go to lay it over Nagi. 

    "Are you just going to leave him to sleep in his clothes?" Ken snatches the blanket from me. 

    "Maybe?" 

    "You can strip the telepath to his underwear, but you can't take this kid's shirt off." He pushes me out of the way. "Yohji, have I ever told you that you can be a real wuss?" Before I can think of a comeback he has the boy's shoes and shirt off. Then the blanket tucked in around him. 

    "Ken . . ." 

    "Oh, shut up and come on." I am being towed to my death. What fun. Did that sound like sarcasm? 

    We troop out of my apartment, down the stairs and into the back room of the flower shop. Omi has three mugs of tea waiting. Bless him even if he is pissed at me. 

    I settle and take a sip of the tea. "Okay. Ask what you will. I'll answer what I can." 

    Ken, of course, jumps on this like a starving man on white rice. "When did you start sleeping with him and how drunk were you?!" 

    "About four months ago and very drunk." 

    Omi just spit his tea out everywhere. "You're WHAT!?!" 

    I look down, hoping he won't stab me in the eye. "I'm sleeping with Schuldig." 

    He sets his tea mug down with a decisive thunk. "Why?" 

    "Seemed like a good idea at the time?" I look up hopefully. 

    "While you where drunk." 

    "Yes?" 

    Ken has at this point backed firmly up to the counter and isn't getting involved. 

    "And the times after that?" Omi has settled his elbows on the table and propped his head up with his hands. It looks deceptively endearing. If he puts on a cute little smile he could commit murder in broad daylight. I'm so screwed. 

    "Seemed like a good idea?" 

    He's rolling his eyes at me. "A better reason, Yohji-kun. Please?" 

    "He's really great in bed?" 

    "Yohji-kun, please stop asking for my approval. I'm not going to kill you." 

    "You sure?" 

    "Of course. Then I would have to break in someone new. It's hard enough without Aya." 

    Damn, I'm good. Changed the subject like a pro. He did half the work . . . 

    "Now stop trying to change the subject." 

    So close. "I wasn't trying to . . ." 

    "Yes, you were. Why are you really with Schuldig? Are you two actually dating?" Now he almost sounds like he wants to gossip. 

    "I like him. We aren't dating. But it's not like we're enemies anymore. Not really." That sounds weak even to my own ears. 

    "Right. You're not dating him." Then would be Ken's irritating two yens worth. 

    "In all honesty, I really don't care that much what you do with him as long as he doesn't endanger us. But don't expect me to like him. What I really want to know is what is going on to make him come running to us." 

    I have to think about how to phrase this. "Several reasons." He's waiting for them. "A) Schu trusts me." Omi rolls his eyes, pointing out without words that I should really stop pointing out the obvious. "B) We are the only people that have ever irritated that asshole Crawford and lived to tell about it." 

    "Nice to know you don't like all of them." 

    "God, Ken. Shut up." Great, now he's laughing at me. I hope he snorts his drink up his nose and chokes. "C) We owe Nagi our lives." There is the kicker. Applying to Omi's sense of honor. He really does have one. It just doesn't come out a lot. This is not to say that he isn't a nice guy. Because he is. It's just that he cares about the team and the job more than being nice. 

    Oh, their eyes are bugging a little. It becomes clear to me that they never really thought about why we didn't drown in the rubble. 

    "And how does that work?" Ken sits at the table between Omi and I. 

    "He used his powers to float us all to the surface. And on to shore." 

    "Are you sure of that?" Omi's healthy skepticism. 

    "Yes. I was still conscious. Barely, mind you, but enough to remember what happened. He very definitely did save us." 

    "Why would he do that?" A valid question, Ken. 

    "Apparently he hates violence and he thought there had been enough death." 

    "He's an assassin." 

    "So are you. Do you like killing?" Okay, that was a bit cruel of me, but it won't do to have Ken thinking Nagi a monster when it isn't true. 

    I can tell, though. Omi will give in. And for now that's all I need. 

^^^^ 


	2. Chapter Two

_ I wrote this chapter in between making cranberry bread and decorating the Christmas Tree. Now I'm basking in the light from the tree, so forgive any undue warm fuzzies in the story. _

Please make sure you reread the first chapter, as there's an added scene. 

Chapter Two 

    Okay. I'm awake. Where am I? It doesn't smell right here. Look around. Mental inventory. Brad should be around here; no, that's Yohji. Wait a minute. Yohji? _Yohji?_

    "Yeah. I'm here. Feeling better?" 

    Okay. Okay, sit up and open your eyes. This is ridiculous. Okay, I'm sitting up. In Yohji's room. I've never been here before, just seen it in his head. "What time is it?" Because that definitely looks like early morning light coming from the window. 

    "It's nine am. You slept for almost twenty-four hours." 

    "Oh." 

    "You know what the look on your face reminds me of?" 

    "What?" This is a test. I can tell. He's trying to see if I'll lose it again. When did I lose it in the first place, and what is it anyway? 

    "The look you had on your face when you woke up hung over, and found yourself next to me." 

    Why you little . . . "You were looking just a stupid as I was. And way more hung over." 

    He smiles, both with his eyes and his mind. I love that. "Feeling better?" 

    "Yeah." I rack my brain for memory of some sort. All I can get is a cacophony of voices and that I'm really pissed at Brad. I know what all the voices mean, though. No shields. Come to think of it, they are kinda shaky right now. I'm getting echoes of everyone around me . . . Yohji, Soccer boy, the Kitten . . . Where's the Frozen Bitch? And last but not least . . . The little Genius. Wait wait wait. He's next to me. And he feels wrong. A little more memory. Brad aiming a gun at Nagi. Hearing the impact above Nagi and I. Running. 

    And this is Yohji's room. With two more members of Weiss hanging out close by. Man, pull it together. 

    "You sure?" He sits on the side of the bed, reaches out to touch me. I grab his hand. I can use no shields to my advantage. Sift through the concern, past the normal thoughts. I'm looking for memories of me. There. And I watch it all from his point of view. 

    Smack. "Ow." I look up at him, dropping his hand. He hit me. 

    "You could have asked." He's mad. "I would have told you." 

    He's right. I shouldn't have taken it from his mind like that. Sometimes it's hard to remember who my friends are. "Sorry." 

    "You know what I like about you?" He sits back. I'm forgiven. 

    "My stellar body?" He laughs. What I wanted to hear. I'm going to kill Brad. 

    "Besides that. I can always tell when you're being sincere. I can see it in your eyes." He pauses a moment. "So what happened last night? All of it." 

    I rub my head. A nervous gesture. Shields really aren't so great. "Maybe I should tell you all at once? Otherwise the Kitten and Ken will make me repeat it all." 

    "Oh, fine." He rolls his eyes and lights up a cigarette. I hate smokers. And I want one so badly. The question is one of what. A cigarette or a smoker? Particularly this smoker. Distraction. Right. 

    I'm wearing Yohji's shirt and my own boxers. Yohji's room. Nagi asleep next to me. Deal with that in a minutes. For now, look around. "Yohji, you are a slob." 

    "Oh, shut up. That's my bed you were sleeping in. Don't criticize." But he is a slob. Oddly enough, a slob with some sense of, I don't know, style. But that isn't really the right word. This place has a lived in, homey feel. Though it still looks good. But not the sort of thing I would associate with "style". I'm rambling. There are clothes trailing half-heartedly out of his closet. It's really amazing that he can present such a fine groomed image to the public. There is a wall swallowing bookcase, most of the shelves crammed with books, a few filled with small wooden boxes, a few photos and other obvious keepsakes. There is a huge bay window and, somehow typical to him, he has it crammed full of plants. Like he can't get enough at the day job. I think some are trying to crawl free of their pots. And his beloved orchids. 

    "Yohji, are you sure those plants won't eat you in the night?" 

    "They might eat you. They like me. They know who waters them." 

    "Feed me, Seymour. Feed me!'" He's giving me a blank look. I'm not sure whether the look is due to the quote or the English. Either way, it's endearing. "It's from an American movie called Little Shop of Horrors. There's a man eating house plant named Percy and its pushover owner." More blank looks. "Oh, never mind." 

    I flop back and look at him. I still have a headache. "You gonna tell us what's going on?" Yohji is trying to look stern. It's hard when his cute feet are bare, there is a hole in the left knee of his pants, and the pale green sweater is about three sizes too big. 

    "I'll tell you what I know." 

    "Well, then, get dressed, you lazy bum." He throws clothes at me. Yes, I was just smacked in the face with . . . a t-shirt. One of his t-shirts. His jeans too. Where are . . . yep, blood spattered. The image is right there on top of his thoughts. Almost hard to pull back. Shields still shaky. Clothes on. Right. 

    "Besides, we should get Nagi some breakfast." He's watching me dress. The disappointment is obvious. 

    "Let him sleep." Sleepers are always white noise. There but unobtrusive. Definitely still picking up Nagi static. God, my hair. Borrow hair brush. Must borrow . . . 

    "He's awake." 

    . . . hair brush. "He's what?!" I check again. Unordered sleep pattern. I step over to look at him. "Nagi?" 

    He really is awake. God, this is such a mess. Touch his mind. Glass gone. Smoothed out to sand. The sleepy thoughts focus a little. My name and face sift up through the sand. "Schu?" 

    "Yeah. It's me." Jesus. And all I can manage is to smooth back his hair. "How you feeling?" 

    More sifting. Self inventory. Very slow. "Did I do something wrong?" 

    "No." 

    Sketchy recall. Man, he's missing chunks of time. "You sure?" Even his voice is slow. 

    How to make him believe? Yohji tactfully left. And left a pile of clothes for Nagi. How to convince him? "Nagi, look at me. You didn't do anything wrong." He blinks. I can nearly see the words working their way in. "Want a hug?" He nods. He always likes physical affection. Never allowed himself to get it that often, though. I give him a hug and smooth his hair back again. 

    "Want breakfast?" 

     Another slow self inventory. "Yes." 

    "Then let's get you dressed." I pull the clothes over after letting go of him. Omi's cargo pants, I think. And a belt, thank God. Yeah, these are all the Kitten's clothes. I wonder how much Yohji had to beg to get them. 

^^^^ 

    Omi is a saint in disguise. The evidence of this just keeps mounting in favor of this. Out of all of us, I think he will be most likely to ascend to Heaven. And you can bet your last yen that I'll be clinging to his ankle, hoping to be towed along. 

    Why is he a saint? Well, he didn't kill anyone last night. Aya wouldn't have hesitated to decapitate our strange visitors, but no, Omi just grit his teeth and let it go. Now I head to the kitchen, dreading having to put my meager cooking skills to the test. But no, he's here ahead of me, rice in the steamer, stirring the miso and telling Ken to get on the stick and make coffee. I step into the kitchen to hear him snapping out another order. "Put some water on to boil." 

    "Why? We all drink coffee." Ken is dressed in sweat pants and a t-shirt. I don't know how he can go bare foot in the kitchen. Cold linoleum, makes me shudder just to think about it. 

    "We don't know if Nagi or Schuldig drink coffee." I sort of stop to watch. You learn a lot about what people think just by watching. Sometimes it's better than asking questions. 

    "What do you care?" Trust Ken to be blunt and to the point. I suppose that's one of the things I love about him. You always know where you stand and he doesn't hold undue grudges. That's better than I can say about myself. 

    "I refuse to be a bad host. Besides, they came here for help. Weiss is supposed to help people. Whether we like them or not. Right, Yohji-kun?" The little twit doesn't even turn around. 

    I should have known he knew I was standing here listening. At least he doesn't seem so pissed at me any more. "Thanks for making breakfast." 

    "I didn't want you poisoning all of us." 

    "Most charitable of you." Ah . . . here's Schu. _Well, at least he doesn't want me dead any more._

    I turn to look. He's leading Nagi by the hand. He's swimming in Omi's clothes. That's another reason Omi is a saint. I find a pile of his clothes outside my door this morning. Ken and Omi turn to watch them as they make their way into the room. Schu gives them that smirk of his, then pulls out a chair and settles Nagi down into it. We still have four chairs here, even though there are only three of us now. 

    The boy looks around at all of us, blinking. "Schu?" 

    "Yeah?" I notice that he is standing close to the boy. 

    "Are we supposed to be here?" Nagi's speech pattern is really slow. I mean, I will admit I've never really heard him speak, but I certainly got the impression from talking to Schu that he was pretty quick. 

    _He usually is. But this is why I need you to take care of him. He can't think fast enough to tie his own shoes, let alone defend himself. _

    Omi starts setting out bowls of miso and rice. Ken starts pouring coffee. I stand like an idiot, but then I do that a lot. "Can Nagi have tea, please?" Schu asks. 

    "Told you so." Omi grins triumphantly at Ken, who grumbles. 

    "Schu . . ." It's a low plaintive tone. 

    "Right." I watch as Schu settles down on his heels in front of Nagi. "It's okay that we're here. They're friends now." He brushes hair out of the kid's face. 

    There is a long pause, then, "Why?" 

    "Because there is no reason for us not to be. You need to stay here with them for a while." Nagi blinks a few times and then nods. 

    "Hey! Don't . . ." Ken's sentence stops so suddenly that I know Schu must be talking to him silently. Confirmed by Ken's bug eyed expression. In his defense, it does feel pretty odd until you get used to it. But then, everything feels odd until you get used to it. Otherwise, we would never have to get used to anything. 

    Ken passes out coffee cups and settles a cup of tea in front of Nagi. "Careful, it's hot." And then thuds down into his own chair. Omi comes back into the room with a folding chair. I hadn't even noticed he had left. He opens it next to Nagi and then sets Schu's gun on the table. 

    Now they are playing some sort of trust game with each other. I sit and dish Nagi some rice and miso, watching them. Omi is the one that runs this operation, even if he is the youngest among us. It isn't my place to interfere here. I dish myself food as I watch Schu. Ken is understandably nervous. Omi did just arm the enemy, as far as he's concerned. 

    _You'd think I was some sort of bomb waiting to go off. _

    Schu, it's not like you are the most stable person on the planet. 

    True. I start eating as he inspects his gun and then drops the clip of ammo out. The gun slips into the waist band of his jeans in the back and the bullets into a pocket. Omi nods approvingly. And settles into his seat. 

    Schu settles into his seat and gets a bowl of rice. He handles chopsticks like a native, but the involuntary nose wrinkle at the miso kills whatever illusion the skill might have given. Then again, his red hair should have prevented that in the first place. But still I have no room to criticize. The entire lot of us here have somewhat less than pure ancestry. I mean, really, who ever heard of a blonde Japanese? But Schuldig, he's pure European all the way. 

    "Damned straight." 

    "Schu?" 

    "Yes, Yohji-kun?" 

    He's a mocking little prick. "What the hell is the story here?" 

    "Right." He watches Nagi nibble at his food for a few minutes. Then he snaps his attention back to us. "Actually, I have no idea what's going on." He smiles brightly at us. It's enough to make you want to bang your head against a wall until you lose consciousness. _That's overreacting just a bit there, babe. Might ruin your pretty face. _

    Schu, sometimes I hate you. 

    But this isn't one of those times. "Okay, what I do know. Bradley is playing some sort of game and I don't understand it yet, and until I do, Nagi needs a safe place to stay. You people are the only ones I can think of who could even think about keeping someone safe from Brad." 

    "Is Brad mad at me?" 

    "I don't know. But you didn't do anything wrong. Understand?" Schu looks so . . . brotherly. He reaches out to take hold of one of Nagi's shaking hands. 

    "What happened?" 

    "It's okay that you don't remember. Just let it go." 

    "But it was important!" Nagi is starting to come out of his lethargy a little. I'm not sure that's a good thing. Schu lets go of his hand and opens his arm to offer a hug. I feel like some sort of voyeur watching this. 

    _You had best be watching. He'll need this from you, too. _He pulls Nagi into a hug and sits the kid on his lap. I never actually realized how small Nagi really is. "Don't worry about it." 

    "But . . ." Man, he is really getting upset. The dishes on the table are starting to rattle. 

    "Nagi, look at me." The boy does and Schu catches hold of his chin. It's a gentle action, but one that forces Nagi to give him complete attention. "Do you trust me?" The boy nods a little without pulling away. "Then don't worry about it. It will all come back when it's ready. Okay?" The boy just looks at him. "Okay?" This time he gets another nod. 

    Schu told me once in a bizarre exchange of pillow talk that Esset gave him the code name of Mastermind. He then said that he thought our names were way better. There is no doubt in my mind that he deserves the title, but sometimes I think it all has very little to do with the fact that he is a telepath, and a lot more to do with the fact that he can just read people and their actions like an open book. 

    _You do it too, you know. _

    I wouldn't have been able to calm Nagi down like that. And what you said will stick with him for days. 

    That's only because I know him. Look at Omi. Look how quickly he forgave you. I would have gotten myself killed by now. 

    Sure, Schu. That's just 'cause Omi doesn't want to have to break in someone new. Though I can't help but smile a little. This proves my point. He can play people the way Ken plays soccer. 

    Omi is nudging dishes back to a more secure location at the centre of the table. Nagi nearly rattled half of them right off. 

    "Besides, you guys owe him something, or do you think it was good luck that kept Esset's stupid building from crushing you. Or luck that you didn't drown." He lets us all think about that for a few minutes. 

    "I'll tell you more as soon as I know it." Omi gives him a funny look. "Okay, I'll tell you more as soon as I know it and it won't endanger the rest of Schwarz." 

    "Why do you care about them so much, when they just tried to . . ." Ken makes it clear that he means 'tried to kill Nagi' by pointing at the boy with his chin. 

    "Because you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family." Interesting. Where is Schu's family? _I don't want to talk about it. Schwarz and you are all I have._ Even more interesting. This would be a prime time to remind myself that curiosity killed the cat and I have a propensity for getting shot. "And speaking of family." My attention snaps back to Schu. "Where's the Frozen Bitch, anyway?" 

    There is a moment of silence, then, "Went to America for a while with his sister." Omi and I just look at him. "What?!" Ken can sound so indignant. 

    "Don't look at him that way. You were thinking it too," Schu says playfully. His arms are wrapped around Nagi, still in his lap, and he's peering around the boy, that obnoxious grin back on his face and bandage still covering the cut on his neck. "I gotta get going though." 

    Obviously Nagi doesn't like this much. The silverware starts to rattle again and he turns to get a handful of Schu's shirt. My shirt, actually. 

    "Nagi. Nagi, look at me." Schu pauses while the boy looks up to meet his eyes. "I'm coming back later. I promise. Okay?" 

    "Why can't you stay?" 

    "Because I need to get some of my headache medicine and then punch Brad in the head. In that order. I'll come back around dinner and bring some of your clothes and your laptop. Okay?" 

    "Promise?" 

    "I promise." 

    And here I am thinking that have a panicky telekinetic floating around the place isn't a good thing. _Schu._ Damn, I hate having to wait for him to notice me, but I don't want to upset Nagi either. _SCHU._ Sometimes I would kill to be a telepath or something. 

    _What? Don't shout. My head really does still hurt, you know. _

    Is Nagi likely to bring the place down around our ears if he hears a loud noise or something? 

    Good point. Let's find out. "Nagi. Can you get that spoon for me?" He points to the spoon on the counter that Omi was using to stir the miso. The four of us watch as Nagi slowly reaches a hand out and the spoon jitters, but doesn't come. He starts to look upset and everything else starts to jitter, but still no flying spoon. "It's okay." Schu pushes Nagi's hand back down so it's resting in his lap again. A minute or two later, everything settles down. 

    _I'd say it's likely that he would bring it all down around your ears. He's not thinking quickly or clearly enough to have any sort of conscious control over his powers at all. He was like this when Brad first picked him up. _

    Um . . . 

    I can fix it. "Give me a few minutes of quiet, okay?" He lays a hand along Nagi's face and they both close their eyes. It reminds me of the Vulcan Mind Meld. Hell, for all I know, it might be just that, but we all sit there quietly. About ten minutes later Schu opens his eyes, looking kinda ill. "Man, that did not help my headache." 

    Nagi blinks his eyes open a moment later, puts a hand up to rub at them, like a little kid just waking up. "Try and get that spoon for me again, okay?" Nagi nods and reaches his hand out again. This time not even a ripple. It was about as effective for him as it would be for me. 

    "It's gone." He blinks at Schu. It's sort of cute. I mean he has those huge owl eyes. 

    "I'll bring it back later, when we've got you back together again." He closes his eyes in a wince. "But now I really have to go and get something for this headache. Migraine level here." I would really love to know how he did that. 

    "You want some Advil?" Omi offers helpfully. 

    There's that smirk again. "Nah, I have some nice prescription stuff at home. I'll pop a few pills, pop Brad in the head, take a very long nap and be back tonight." He scootches Nagi back on to his feet. And then stands himself, and wobbles a little. 

    "I'll call you a cab." 

    "Thanks. Oh, and where's my coat?" 

    "I'll get that to. And I'll see if I can save your shirt." It was expensive. Shows you how well he usually does his job. He can afford to wear name brand dress shirts to kill in, resting assured that they won't be ruined. 

    "Just throw it out. I can afford a new one." 

    Oh . . . sometimes I hate him. He's three years younger than me and makes twice as much. The little fink. I call the cab and get his coat. When I come back he's reloading his pistol and telling Nagi that he's sure we have books or something for him to read. 

    He then swings the coat on, which manages to look good even over jeans and a t-shirt, and saunters jauntily out the back door to wait for the cab. 

^^^^ 

    I stole Yohji's spare pack of cigarettes. He always keeps a spare. Cautious guy. The cab ride was hell; too many people and that last little stunt with Nagi turned the minor headache I had into a migraine nightmare. I can feel my fucking heart beat in my temples. 

    I just want some of my headache medicine. And a cigarette. I had one on the car ride over. It helped. Made me feel all light. Still coughed a lot, though. That hurt. Unlock door. Stumble in. I am so unsteady right about now. I hate these headaches. I used to get them a lot more often. I mean, I always got them when I was little. Some people just did. I think I inherited it from my mom. She used to get them. She always knew exactly what to do for me when I got them. 

    God, Brad has music playing. It's like a red strobe light behind my eyes. Find it. Turn it off. Silence. The headaches got worse when Esset started training me to use my gift. No mother to comfort me anymore. 

    Kitchen. Bottle of pills. Swallow it dry. Getting a drink takes too much time. It was Brad that first took me to a doctor for them. 

    Brad. Right. Oh, look, here he is. 

    "Took you long enough to get here." 

    Punch Brad. Satisfying thunk from his face. The bastard didn't even look surprised. Asshole saw it coming. And yet didn't try to block me. He must know he deserves it. 

    Step over him and head to my room. He's resettling his glasses. I should close the curtains. Never mind, I can put a pillow over my head. That's way better; the meds kick in quick. Well, they at least start to work quick. 

    Oh, someone is closing my curtains for me. I am so not loosening my shields enough to see who it is. Only two choices anyway. Farf, but he was less than lucid last night, so I'm not holding out much hope for today. Or Brad. But I just decked him. 

    You know, I'll figure it all out tonight. When my brain isn't trying to leave my head. Ooohh . . . same someone is taking off my shoes and putting a blanket over me. Must be Fearless Leader. Farf is the sort of guy that might think of the blanket, but not the shoes. According to him you need warmth, but comfort, nah, that's for the birds. 

    I wish I could stop thinking. A byproduct of too many thoughts. Too many people. I wish I could figure Brad out. Or at least figure out how he sees us. I understand Nagi. Have that kid pegged. Farf nearly so. Yohji, well, he's Yohji. And to them I'm the big brother, loud mouth, lover. I can look into their eyes and see myself. Looking into Brad's is like looking into one of those windows. The kind they have at doctors' offices. When they want to watch you and not let you know it. 

    I remember because Mama took me to the doctor once and he did that. Watched me through the window/mirror. But I watched him and myself through his eyes. Mama said she was mad at me later when I told her. But inside she sort of thought it was funny. 

    I miss her. I wonder if she's still alive? 

    Sleep. Good meds Brad got me. 

^^^^ 

    Right. Awake. Beat alarm till it bleeds. Wait. Alarm? I didn't set the alarm. Ooooh, Brad, you're pissing me off. I can feel my eyes bugging out in fury. Where is he? Still can't really use my powers. Manpower. Come on, feet. 

    Not in his room, not the living room. Still no music. That's good. My head still hurts, but at least it isn't blinding pain. A plus, really. Ah yes, the kitchen. Brad is such a caffeine addict. Dinner coffee, I call this. 

    "So how much of this did you have planned?" I lean in the doorway, precisely the way I did two days ago. Christ, that seems like eons ago even if that is a cliché. 

    "Quite a bit. I worked it all out so that the least amount of damage would be caused to the team." 

    "So Nagi was an acceptable sacrifice?" Seething. I'm seething. Seeing red. There I go with the clichés again. Though there is a nice bruise on his jaw. Yay. See me cheer. 

    "He's alive, isn't he? And out of my reach, so he will remain alive. I have neither the time or resources to remove him from the protectors you've chosen." He sips his coffee, the smug fuck. "So all in all, everything worked out." 

    "He's nearly crazy!" 

    "Have I ever done anything to hurt the team before?" Brad is the master of flat affect. 

    "Takatori. Nine iron, my ribs?" Ring any bells, you smug fuck? 

    "Unavoidable. And you brought that down on yourself." 

    "Brad, darling, that was eighty percent Farfie, and as much as he is growing on me like some sort of fungus, he is crazy and I can't always control that. And now that I think about it, I'm really lucky that Omi didn't slit my throat when he had the chance last night!" Seething. This is making my head pound. 

    "Schuldig, let me assure you, I am not trying to hurt anyone." Grrrrr. That's all I can think of to say. So I say nothing, because Grrrrr sounds stupid. He's standing up and scooping up his suit coat from where it was draped over the back of his chair. "Now if you will excuse me, I have somewhere to be." He brushes past me. A brief moment of static. "Oh, and don't forget Turtle." 

    Right. Packing Nagi's stuff. Step one: list. Oh, the front door, Brad is leaving. "Bradley, I hate you!" Okay I'll admit it was childish. Pen, paper . . . list. Laptop, Turtle, clothes, pj's, hairbrush . . . Step two. Actually pack his stuff. 

^^^^ 


End file.
